Thursday, February 2, 2012

I'm a SERVER. Not a SERVANT.

When you go into a restaurant, please keep in mind that you are not a dictator of a third world country where everyone bends over and takes it from you. You are a person, just like your server. Your server is a human being with bills, a family, and even feelings.

I am not a mind reader and you are not a Jedi.
I can't bring you what you want unless you tell me. Use your words and tell me you want marinara with your cheese steak. Don't talk to me like I'm your beaten wife who should know how Daddy wants it. And yes, I am going to charge you for the side of marinara. Now eat it.

You are not my only table. If you tell me you're ready to order, BE READY TO ORDER. It's rude to have me stand there for ten minutes while you figure it out. Also, how about you and your buddies get on the same drinking schedule and stop sending me to get you another drink right after I bring your buddy one. And contrary to popular belief, when I am holding tray of drinks that are obviously not for your table it is not a good time to ask me where I am from, where I went to high school, or hit on me. Actually, never is a good time to hit on me. NEVER.

Just because I am your server does not mean that I am your servant.
I don't work for free. I have a mortgage, utilities, cell phone, car insurance, student loans, groceries, and gas to pay for. I get paid $2.15 and hour which translates to "Void" on all my paychecks and I have to pay out of my rear around tax season. So essentially you are paying me to bring you whatever your little heart desires. $5 and less isn't going to cut it. Tip 20% of your bill or more if you've been there for a couple hours or had a 3 course meal and multiple drinks. Compliments don't pay the bills.

We are not infallible. I admit it, sometimes I am an idiot. However, some things are out of my control. I'm sorry your drink took long because the bartenders HATE making our drinks for us. I'm sorry that the table next to you had me stand there for 10 minutes while they figured out if they wanted cheese on their burger. I'm sorry that the hostess decided to stop following the rotation and sat me with three other tables right after she sat you and now I have to get all of your orders at once. I'm sorry that you changed your order as I was leaving another table which confused me and the original order came out. I'm sorry that I am so flustered from being ran and triple sat that you had to wait 8 minutes for your drink. I'm sorry that I didn't finish college in a timely manner and get a real job; or became a trophy wife. I. AM. SORRY

Now I will clean up after you leave a mess on and under your table. I will go home and watch adult swim until the anxiety wares off and then have waitress nightmares. See you tomorrow for more punishment. Stay in school kids.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The Egg had been Nogged.

[Sounds like a good term to announce a pregnancy doesn't it? Go ahead pop-culture. Use it free of charge.]

We have a whole unopened carton of egg nog sitting in the fridge, mocking us. It knows that we can't drink anymore nog after all the holiday shenanigans finally settled down. But it is there and it is still good until the first week in February. Sigh.

In the spirit of the new year I am trying to make use of all the food we have and I am determined to not let this egg nog defeat me and cook it into as many things as the carton will let me. What a hussie.

I never got to make the Egg Nog Cupcakes that were on the menu for the Ugliest Sweater party so I had to start out with those. First I imagined in my brain that they existed and then I asked Google for a recipe. Then the recipe sat on the fridge for over a month until I finally cranked it out.



After that I still had almost a full carton left so I decided it was time to eat breakfast and looked up this recipe for Egg Nog French Toast. The recipe is pretty simple and I maybe used only one cup of egg nog since I eyeballed it instead of measuring cause that's how I roll.



They came out so gooie and delicious. I topped it with whipped cream, bananas, maple syrup and powdered sugar. Perfect level of egg nog flavor and awesomeness combined.

Now I must take a nap to digest my food baby.