I'm a SERVER. Not a SERVANT.

When you go into a restaurant, please keep in mind that you are not a dictator of a third world country where everyone bends over and takes it from you. You are a person, just like your server. Your server is a human being with bills, a family, and even feelings.

I am not a mind reader and you are not a Jedi. I can't bring you what you want unless you tell me. Use your words and tell me you want marinara with your cheese steak. Don't talk to me like I'm your beaten wife who should know how Daddy wants it. And yes, I am going to charge you for the side of marinara. Now eat it.

You are not my only table. If you tell me you're ready to order, BE READY TO ORDER. It's rude to have me stand there for ten minutes while you figure it out. Also, how about you and your buddies get on the same drinking schedule and stop sending me to get you another drink right after I bring your buddy one. And contrary to popular belief, when I am holding tray of drinks that are obviously not for your table it is not a good time to ask me where I am from, where I went to high school, or hit on me. Actually, never is a good time to hit on me. NEVER.

Just because I am your server does not mean that I am your servant. I don't work for free. I have a mortgage, utilities, cell phone, car insurance, student loans, groceries, and gas to pay for. I get paid $2.15 and hour which translates to "Void" on all my paychecks and I have to pay out of my rear around tax season. So essentially you are paying me to bring you whatever your little heart desires. $5 and less isn't going to cut it. Tip 20% of your bill or more if you've been there for a couple hours or had a 3 course meal and multiple drinks. Compliments don't pay the bills.

We are not infallible. I admit it, sometimes I am an idiot. However, some things are out of my control. I'm sorry your drink took long because the bartenders HATE making our drinks for us. I'm sorry that the table next to you had me stand there for 10 minutes while they figured out if they wanted cheese on their burger. I'm sorry that the hostess decided to stop following the rotation and sat me with three other tables right after she sat you and now I have to get all of your orders at once. I'm sorry that you changed your order as I was leaving another table which confused me and the original order came out. I'm sorry that I am so flustered from being ran and triple sat that you had to wait 8 minutes for your drink. I'm sorry that I didn't finish college in a timely manner and get a real job; or became a trophy wife. I. AM. SORRY

Now I will clean up after you leave a mess on and under your table. I will go home and watch adult swim until the anxiety wares off and then have waitress nightmares. See you tomorrow for more punishment. Stay in school kids.

The Egg had been Nogged.

[Sounds like a good term to announce a pregnancy doesn't it? Go ahead pop-culture. Use it free of charge.]

We have a whole unopened carton of egg nog sitting in the fridge, mocking us. It knows that we can't drink anymore nog after all the holiday shenanigans finally settled down. But it is there and it is still good until the first week in February. Sigh.

In the spirit of the new year I am trying to make use of all the food we have and I am determined to not let this egg nog defeat me and cook it into as many things as the carton will let me. What a hussie.

I never got to make the Egg Nog Cupcakes that were on the menu for the Ugliest Sweater party so I had to start out with those. First I imagined in my brain that they existed and then I asked Google for a recipe. Then the recipe sat on the fridge for over a month until I finally cranked it out.



After that I still had almost a full carton left so I decided it was time to eat breakfast and looked up this recipe for Egg Nog French Toast. The recipe is pretty simple and I maybe used only one cup of egg nog since I eyeballed it instead of measuring cause that's how I roll.



They came out so gooie and delicious. I topped it with whipped cream, bananas, maple syrup and powdered sugar. Perfect level of egg nog flavor and awesomeness combined.

Now I must take a nap to digest my food baby.

Injured. Injured Bad.

I know, I know. I'm a terrible blog mommy. I admit it, I've been neglecting this little piece of the inter-web that I've claimed for myself. I'll be good. I will try to be better.

Most of the reason I have not been updating is that during the months of November and December I simply do not exist. I work for a liquor distribution company and we have an incredible amout of holiday work. Not to mention my two bar tending jobs. But I have no one to blame for this but myself... and the fact that I really like having money.

This particular week I have been diagnosed with the most awesome ailment ever: Tendinitis of the Rotator Cuff and Bicep. Pretty much feels like I've pulled every muscle in my arm and I get to wake up in the middle of the night with a most uncomfortable pain in my shoulder. Told you it was awesome.

Since I cannot bar tend, go to the gym, or crochet... I have to fall back on the great American pastime: aimlessly surfing the inter-web.

I stumbled across this, and it made me feel much (much) better.

Feeling Crappy... I Mean Crafty.

It’s that time of year again! Fall, you ask? Nooo. Back to School season? Nooo.

It’s that one time a year where I get really, really, sick. Last year I couldn’t get out of bed for the entire month of June with Bronchitis. This time I’ve diagnosed myself with a sinus infection. I’m doing my best to head it off at the pass with some leftover antibiotics and lying in bed watching Tropic Thunder and stand up on comedy central.

Since I’m feeling so poopie [and I don’t want to get sick germs all over the Phillie Phanatics I’ve been making non-stop for everyone] I’ve decided to work on some poop. Before you get carried away with that imagination of yours… I’m talking about crochet.


With the pattern made by Puchimoto I’m tackling these turds with a size E crochet hook and whatever poop colored yarns that have been neglected around here. If we’re exchanging Christmas presents this year, expect to get them in the form of a tree ornament.

Boyfriends 27th Birthday!

August 13 was Bryan's birthday and I was so much more excited than he was. Apparently, 27 isn't one of those ages people get excited for. I ordered him something he's really going to like [which I can't disclose since they haven't arrived in the mail yet] and made him a few craftlicious things.


Behold thee elusive Jackalope. We had both come up with the idea to mount crocheted animal busts onto stained plaques a few months ago but I had never gotten around to the busts once he had taught me how to stain the plaque. After a few months of hibernation in the garage I though it would make a really cute/funny birthday present for him.

For the past 2 years I've sent something to his office on his birthday. The first year was balloons. A candy basket was sent the next year. This year I wanted to do something different so, of course, homemade cupcakes were in order! With the help of Gopal and Ashi, my best guy friend and his cousin who work in the same office as Boyfriend, the cupcakes along with some "Happy Birthday" balloons were delivered to Bryans desk while he was out to lunch with Gop. It just so happens that when I was leaving their parking lot I missed being spotted by the skin of my teeth. Just as I was pulling away from the office, they were pulling in.

After work he headed over to my hood and we went to Outback for some yummies and then back to my house for presents and the most delicious thing I've ever baked. Bryans favorite, German Chocolate Cake. I didn't want to smash candles in my greatest achievement ever so I just held the #2 and #7 candles while he blew them out. Mmmmm... birthday success.

An Amigurumi Named Goo

FUN FACT: My Mom and I are pretty serious Goo Goo Dolls fans. Well, she is a bit more than I am, but Slide can never pass me on the radio without getting turned all the way up. Mom has some pretty solid GGD related stories about concerts and all the adventures she has been on, but me repeating them secondhand on the internet would never do them justice.


For her birthday I set these little guys up on the kitchen table to welcome her to a new year. They were set up next to a homemade card adorned with hearts and music notes that read like the end of the song sings: "Happy Birthday tooooooo YOOOOUUUUU!!!" so esentially they were singing happy birthday to her.


I never put mouths on my projects so they look a little weird and I feel like I gypped Mike a little. Besides short hair and drum sticks, there was really nothing else I could think to adorn him with. Maybe some running shoes... but that would just mess up the whole rock and roll theme I was going for.


Robby’s feet are the same color as his face because he likes to perform barefoot. I know he transferred to wearing toe socks a few years back, but I figured I would keep it simple. Also, his skull cap is removable. I left out the glasses because they were just too much. This one is my favorite because I just love me some Robby Takac.


I hope she appreciates the extreme butt-chin I gave John. I really wanted to put tattoos on his arms, but just couldn't do it without messing up the whole shebang. He's the only one I gave eyelids to, but lets face it: no one can pull off the mellow look like John does.

I took all the body structures from LafeeCrochette's Etsy pattern for South Park characters but other than that I brought them to life. I used Red Heart Supersaver yarns that have all lived in my stash for some time now, a size 2.55mm crochet hook, and polyester fiberfill. The guitars are from the miniatures section of the craft store and I sharpied the color into them.